I was really disappointed when my mom came home after wisdom teeth surgery and was totally lucid. No antics, just single malt.

And cinnamon in general. I was slightly mortified when feeding baked goods to a French person from Fraaaance and she said, "You Canadians really love cinnamon, don't you? This is like a pain d'epice, but you know, way too many spices"

Miley merely has a case of bubonic plaque, or just regular plaque. That's why she and I have lily white tongues. I can't brush my tongue without gagging though, so it's hard to clean. I'm investing in a penis shaped tooth brush.

If by sleep you mean Bonerville.

Tee hee!

It's much better with the video off.

I had to stop at the grappling.

I don't know stuff about things, but I would imagine some of the grappling in the video might be triggering for some people. Great video though.

I think it's beautiful that all men, regardless of sexual orientation, just want to objectify models in a jet.

I like how the girls are the ones wearing ears but the boys seem like the pets, other than that, gross.

That's exactly what it means. I asked one of my Italian chef teachers what was wrong with my pasta and he said, "It needs more taste. I mean salt, of course. The water in your pot should be saltier than sea water"

Real life has caught up to video games and now real cars basically have minimaps in them. So that specifically doesn't ruin my immersion.

She's totally trying to drown him in that pic.

Those were the good old days of the circus.

I really admire your commitment to living in a fantasy world where white people don't have the vast majority of the power. I would like to live there as well.

I'm 1/64th Irish toooo, so I will also give my child a pretty name with a baffling spelling.

He is not qualified to make his own facial decisions.

Why are slow zoom shots always so creepy?

I was having dinner with a friend once. He hadn't arrived yet and my phone was on the table. When he did, I pocketed it, and he gasped. I laughed... and then cried.

No darling, I don't want your face in the shot, that would be disrespectful.