Why are slow zoom shots always so creepy?

I was having dinner with a friend once. He hadn't arrived yet and my phone was on the table. When he did, I pocketed it, and he gasped. I laughed... and then cried.

No darling, I don't want your face in the shot, that would be disrespectful.

I've always found flopping bits to be gruesome, regardless of age, gender, etc.

It's just a ring, British people. I know, I know, Austen didn't have a lot of possessions, which I would argue makes the ring even less significant.

How very... old money. I like how they look like gilded, wax sealed letters on the Orient Express.

So nobody in this scenario was drunk? What the hell is happening to journalism? All your paperweights should be bottles of rye.

They're all hollow and charmless, aren't they?

How drunk are you? What is this even about? Fox is such an easy target so how did you miss so spectacularly? The FOX & Friends Twitter feeds seems just as obnoxious as all other "news" Twitter feeds so what's the joke here, that Fox News is still awful? Cuz we know that.

Agreed, although sometimes a perfectly satisfactory sexual relationship with a perfectly nice, respectful person just isn't nearly enough.

Do you ever get tired of being the one that walks home? When your partner (for that evening) barely manages to say, on his or her bed, "You can sleep over if you wa-" and I reply to that barely conscious person with a little smile, "I prefer my own bed". Snuggling clearly isn't an option as I've exhausted you with my…

Dear Hilary Duff, please make more electronic music. I will never be ashamed of how much I love your disgustingly wholesome Nickolodeon ass.

Diaz looks deadly in that promo, despite the photoshop. I assume she won't be allowed to smile in the movie, because when she does her face has lines (God forbid). She has such a wonderful, beaming smile.

I just assumed the embed doesn't work, but I saw the clip already on Youtube. Conan has quite the Youtube presence, if you're in to that sort of thing.

Having been on both ends of penetrative sex, angle is pretty important. She's probably going to be a bit more concerned about that than you are, so focus on getting comfortable. If she's not comfy, she's not horny, and if you're all cramped and uncomfy your boner will die pretty damn fast. Porn is about 'positions'…

Old Long John Hammerpants sounds like the best pirate ever.

What a tasteless snuff film. A man died, you guyz.

TimeSplitters was the game I got for Christmas with my PS2. I loved it. My mom ordered it online so she didn't see the "nipple robots" on the cover. Nipple Robots has always been my favourite FPS cuz it's so damn ridiculous.

GOOD. I was trying to hate-read this book, because that's a thing apparently, but I mostly ended up hate-throwing it across the room every time some smirking, immortal, sexy male character showed up with abs. Even if you can't SEE the abs they're there (the protagonist could discern this from riding/snuggling on a…

Mlergh, just tell me where that dewy-eyed actress is from. I've seen her before and I recall enjoying her fine acting cheese. I think she was on Ugly Betty?