The kids all bouncing their basketballs at the exact same time. Chilling.

I was incredibly disappointed to discover in ninth grade biology that while mitochondria were real, farandolae were not.

Moms dropping off groceries can go wrong sometimes. My mom always lines my brother’s pantry with canned ravioli because she is convinced that he loves them.

A dumped a guy that had gotten waaaaaay too clingyy during a relatively short dating period (3mo). He started crying and walked slooooowly to my door. Then he turned to me, expecting me to stop him. When I didn’t he put his hand on the doorknob, expecting me to stop him. Again I didn’t, and he slooooowly turned the…

My last breakup was terrible. He was such an asshole, he was a legend in his own mind, I just yelled at him, “fuck you, fuck your high horse, and fuck the cow that died to make the saddle!”

So are you actually in an open marriage? Cause a glitter orgy sounds fun!

It was such a beautiful film, and a really nice representation of the experience of having to find your own way and grow into yourself in a new place. The part where Eilis is sailing back to New York and she’s able to give solid advice to a nervous first-time migrant made me cry like an idiot, because I’ve found…

Brooklyn was the best movie of the year. That is all.

Yeah, the Revenant looks awful. But it’ll probably win everything because why the fuck not. The Academy Awards are like the Who’s Line Is It Anyway of award shows; the points don’t matter and the answers are made up.

Now I am not one for snap judgments, but Tomato Slice Pizza?
You are clearly the worst person in the world and you can go straight to hell, madam! *Unleashes Counter-Measures*

“~slacktivism~”

Really. “Stop saying true unflattering things about me, everyone!” is not a valid legal complaint.

It’s not Kesha who’s doing it. It’s EVERYONE ELSE who has seen what a fucking rape-apologizing money-hungry mega-douche Sony is.

I saw one tweet from Kesha, thanking fans for their support, and everyone else was tweeting long before she did that, because the verdict was live tweeted and people were pissed off. Whether she’d said anything or not, people would have said the same thing.

I honestly think human babies are some of the least-cute mammal babies. Sometimes I feel like a robot when people are like, “Oh, aren’t you the cutest thing!” to a baby and I’m like, excuse me, have you literally never seen a puppy?

Not much of a spoiler- it’s pretty obvious from the beginning. The movie is still worth watching.

i read your (short) comment history—it speaks for itself. you are definitely a (racist) hateful troll.

why do trolls pick the most obvious handles? you know the obviousness of your handle just prevents people from reading the content of any of your posts, right?

“Homer, when I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death you told me no!”

The only reason I think it’s real is that the writer used the word “blush” to describe a color. Any straight man would shrug and call it pink.