h/t doorfliesopen.com

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

I would take a backup QBs salary, a Super Bowl MVP and a colossal penis any day.

He probably tells his tailor he’s 6'3.

No wonder LeBron picked him last.

I feel like if you have to tell a spy to not voluntarily wear something called a “tracking device” then they need to take some remedial Spy classes. I’ve never been a spy myself, but I’ve seen enough movies/tv/novels/YouTube videos/episodes of Cheaters to know that I should attempt to avoid “tracking devices” if I…

I GOT THIS TOO

It’s a problem I’m intimately familiar with, having served in the military. Too often, our service members are dying from suicide, due in no small part to the hyper masculine culture. And yes, that includes women who’ve served, at a much more alarming rate. You don’t want to be seen as weak.

Nice guy. He seems like a real pillar of the community.

Did somebody say, “Killer body shots?!”

You’re right and I would give MSU four business days to get it fixed.

If the Miller family gets another bill after, say, this Friday, then bulldoze the MSU Sports Clinic.

Sounds like you meet the criteria, though.

Yeah, the 85 percent of the country that has no idea what Roy Rogers is or where they’re located.

If only he put his hands up.

Not wanting it to go to waste, I did a quarter ounce of cocaine, fucked my wife’s sister like I’ve always wanted to, called my boss and called him an old bald cocksucker, then burned my house down for fun.

Switch to Sugar Free Haribo gummy bears. They’re delicious...but you’ll be leaking in a different way. Sinner

I’ll bet the jury in this case will be deadlocked at 6-6.