The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.

Due to poor clock management most of Scandinavia won’t get their presents until the 27th.

This is what happens when you eat too many Ls.

If he waits till next year’s draft, he’s just gonna get drafted by the browns next year.

I see your point, but that’s not actually what the word “holiday” means. I am not Jewish, but I still think of Hanukkah as a holiday, because it is, in fact, a holiday. It may not be a holiday I personally celebrate, but it’s for sure a holiday!

If the Steelers win the Super Bowl and offer him a ring, would he take it?

Man, the media is really trying to rub his nose in the mess he made.

It has to be uppity black people. It certainly isn’t the cost of tickets/parking/concessions; poor responses to domestic violence and brain trauma; that no one knows what a catch is; that the league’s punishment is inconsistent and makes the commissioner look like a idiot; that the league has saturated the market with…

Is your mom’s boyfriend Delonte West?

Man, Greg sure sounds like a real Gregg.

You live in a remorseless, unapologetic oligarchy where there is a big club and you’re not in it. Got it?

I really didn’t want to vote for Erdogan, but I just couldn’t overlook Hillary’s e-mails.

More or less than Beejoli had to stay silent when a deadspin staffer sexually assaulted her?

Just want to say thank you for all your work, especially your incredible investigative pieces year after year. Deadspin is a great place for dick jokes and making fun of Austin Rivers, but for me, no author’s byline here commands as much attention as yours.

I think it’s actually a reference to certificate of deposit accounts. Have you seen the interest rates on them lately?

Goddammit someone pointed out on Twitter that I left Kam Chancellor off this list and I am considering resigning my post in disgrace.

Retired General D’Brickashaw Ferguson of the First Order is FURIOUS he’s not on this list

Zack Zenner totally sounds like a pod racing alien.