I will be undergoing morcellation in a few days.

Has CPS been informed?

If you don't like it, don't watch it. If you don't want to read about, don't click on links. You could easily go about life without any interruptions from Andy Cohen & Gang. I hate that The Bachelor has been on for approx. 45 years but other people seem to enjoy it so who am I to complain?

You may be sorry you asked.

That pun just a-salted me. (I'm SORRY, OK?) Seriously though. My head jerked up and back like I'd been slapped by the sheer force of your wit. Well fucking played.

as always, popcorn is vegan.

Is she really that popular, because I've never heard of herbivore.

Whatever you do, don't read the article from earlier today.

After a few days I would rather throw the contacts out and walk around without seeing anything

Once, during my high school lit class, it came out that one of our friends (this is an honors class full of presumably smartish kids) had not taken his contact lenses out or even used saline solution in his eyes for TWO YEARS. The contacts wearers among us were astonished (mine start to fall apart after about 6…

I have no sympathy for stupidity.

Your advice has been noted and dismissed.

I assumed that Kim Kardashian meant that if you leave the house as a pregnant woman and dare to have any pregnancy style whatsoever that someone will pick you to pieces.

I don't really blame her for calling the paps and making money because that's basically her job, right? I'd be very surprised if Kanye doesn't know about it, but if he doesn't that's wrong of her.

Fireworks here started a week ago. Every single night. Fortunately, my dog is just a little angry, not scared. She charges out into the yard to bark furiously. The fourth itself is like the Normandy landing out in our streets, though, so I have no idea what it will be like.

Me either. I mean America is great and all, but not so great that I don't hate the inconsiderate dicks who shoot off fireworks until 2 or 3 in the morning. I get it Cletus, you're celebratin' Murica, but can you not be an asshole about it?

The poor dog was probably dealing with a diet adjustment and the farting would have subsided within a month or so. Hopefully she winds up in a better home with people who actually care about her.

On a scale of 1-5, how would you rate "One Dag You'll Know"? And if you want to throw in some plot summaries or spoilers about Dags, please do.

Same. :( Honestly I think they're all genuine people, just in different ways. That's just not a very popular opinion around here.

He's an asshole and a drunk, but Lord Disick has outlasted a crackhead and The Hump.