Absolutely disgusting.

Or he will have a mysterious accident and Melania will inherit everything as Baron’s caretaker.

Or what videotapes Trump has of his.

Salt and pepper is the bedrock. The spices are the pillars.

Correction:  you end up upside-down, like a bat that started Covid-19. This is biology class, miss.

He doesn’t have the cleavage to make the plain dress work.

Shit, I was just going to eat a pizza and watch Netflix. Now you’re making me think I should do something extra....nah.

Maybe she’ll get it and we’ll hear her last words.

I’m gonna get both just to be super safe. That’s like a combined efficacy of over 180%!

Go ahead, make and bake all the stuff you normally do, fill the house with those wonderful smells and coziness. Then freeze it all so you can eat it during the next 6 months of lockdown

Psst..Christmas and New Year’s will also be canceled.

The worst part of T-Day is the turkey, just because it’s hard to cook the whole bird to make it presentable. This year I’m just getting a half-ham and a turkey breast (singular) to cook for whoever doesn’t like ham. The main focus will be on the sides and dessert, like it always is anyway.

Glendale Galleria seems a lot more pleasant without the usual douchebags in it.

No way. My secret Thanksgiving recipe involves basting my turkey with the tears of someone who didn’t deserve it to make it crackle.

Nice place. Can you bring  your own tacos?

Why not just make everyone in Florida a cop and arrange them all in a circle?

China and Russia can each suck a nut on human rights, but they’re not wrong.

This is it folks; the time has arrived.

This motherfucker’s going to attempt a coup, just watch.

A 1 gram joint sprinkled liberally with kief.