This should be a capital offense.

Even the header pic is making me nauseous, and I’m pretty sure those salads are extinct.

It means they think we have the attention span of their brain-dead Trumpists.

None of you are invited to my cookout.

Right?

Same.

These aren’t even prison-tattoo bad, they’re like backyard-tattoo bad.

Lol, it is nearest to the best wine region, but no way.

We’ve seen this story before, played out in the same country, with just a different set of nonwhite people, and we already know it doesn’t end well.

Jersey’s not that bad.

These two fuckers can’t even vote for a symbolic resolution without crying White tears at their “oppression.”

Just go to Freddy’s if you want conventional and “luxe” groceries in the same place.

Shoot. You can get 5 dozen “cage-free eggs” for under $5 at Costco.

They may have underreacted to the window breaker, but they sure as hell overreacted with the window replacement.

You can have Cinco de Mayo.

National Cookout Day in the summer time that doesn’t involve mayonnaise, flags, or parades.

It seems like no matter what I do to purchase them at the peak of ripeness, unless I use them within the perfect minutes-long window, they edge into unappealing brown territory, and then I have to toss them.

ACTUALLY....feckless cunts, too.

Dayum, Drake don’t play.

The news is that the combination of sugars + fat= heroin to your brain.