Brian De Palma presents The Touchables.

Don’t forget about the Argentinians and their dental fricatives.

Dragons gonna dragon.

It’s the shark eyes.

Amazon’s delivery service at least sends you a picture of where they left the package as proof, so you have a “last seen at” location when it goes missing.

So it Saul Goodman?

Maybe he thought it came with the glass? Whatever, I’m sure he’s sent the place the $2 it cost to replace the glass.

Only way to win is to pull a Suge Knight.

They gonna stop serving fried chicken again?

Yep, this is state-actor level trolling.

This seems like too much trouble. I just have my parties in the walk-in refrigerator.

WacDonald’s serving up their NothingBurgers.

I’ve feel like I’ve read this fairy tale before.

Do you think this man gives a shit what any woman thinks?

If I wanted all the toppings to fall off my pizza slice when I picked it up, I would just get a deep dish pizza.

Well, at least you finally figured it out.

They’re already in the bathtub, just turn on the hot water!

Or was it the photographer who owns the copyright?

Good, man.

If my windows are rattling, your music is too loud. Keep it in your house, car, earphones. I don’t want to be deaf, too.