My favorite movie of hers is probably an odd choice considering how many movies she’s been in-  stranger than fiction (with will Ferrell and meggie Gyllenhaal). She reminds me of my favorite college professor in that, right down to her clothes (except my professor always wore doc martens Mary Janes).

On the show, he would say, “I love you just the way you are.” One day I said, “Fred, were you talking to me?” And he looked at me and he said, “Yes, I’ve been talking to you for two years and you finally heard me today.” And I just collapsed into his arms. I started crying. That’s when I knew I loved him.

The scam is that the clever fox kits are trained by the breeder to seek out valuable jewelry, bearer bonds, and high end electronics, and to hide these items in pre-arranged locations where the breeder can retrieve them. Once every two years or so, the fox posts embarrassing nudes of the people who bought them. After…

This is what she gets for doing business with Doug Judy.

I missed the write up of his testimony in the first trial, thanks for the link- made for a double good read! : )

Animals aren’t nearly as altruistic as you think. They’re simply hampered by their lack of thumbs.

HAHAHA! Right?! TLC should totally only be producing shows for your generation and the rest of us olds should just sit in a fucking chair in the corner hallucinating reruns of the Brady Bunch while thanking our lucky stars you “young ‘uns” are still generous enough to let us even breathe the same air you do.

Drowning with your crashmate is the least Kennedy way to die ever.

You don’t throw the sticks down after your tampon removal drum solo?

“...or like a stick you use to stuff tampons up there!”

Warning to adults everywhere. These kids are really smart and really good at the social media, stop screwing with them.

Well, that might make you some kind of snack proctologist.

Now can we do something about all the women’s college sports teams in the South and Midwest that go by “Lady [school mascot]”?

What a way to go! RIP

I will take any and all opportunities to brag that I’ve met Shirley Manson, along with Duke, Butch, and Steve, and they are all incredibly kind, gracious, and caring. The first time I met them I took the opportunity to tell them their music had truly saved my life, and Shirley gave me a hug, then Steve followed, then…

BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COOK

Who’s to say. All I know is, you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs. Any cook will tell you that!

Obligatory;

I really liked this one, too:

Minhaj made fun of Pence noting that the VP wasn’t there because some of the women in the room might be ovulating.