I tore my rotator cuff on one if those machines, so fuck it, it deserves what it gets.

The scary part is that there are people out there dumb enough to assume the plumbing company would be over in Syria with guns loaded into their trucks.

You are a god damned national treasure.

You're 100% correct. Lazy too.

Who said anything about getting arrested? It's a bar crawl. You go expecting to drink. Also, the handjob happened last year. It was in a Duane Reade though, not an ATM.

Seriously, he's like 10 games over .500 in his career. How did that guy fuck his career so badly?

Probably not, because he was only in their kid's school because the football coach saw him playing basketball when his friend 's Dad brought them to the school.

Black people right, White People wrong. No exceptions. It's the Gawker motto. They have it hanging on the wall in the office. Denton's Mom made it with needlepoint. It's adorable.

"You're SO lucky that you can fit all your rings on one hand. Do you have ANY idea how annoying it is to have to switch hands when showing them to someone?"

Let's just wrap the QBs in bubble wrap and be done with all this nonsense.

Sounds like the fiancé is laying the groundwork for a lawsuit against MSG.

Did anyone really think a QB drafted by Cleveland in the 1st Round would be good? We've all seen this dance before. Tim Couch, Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden, we all know how this story ends.

Or a Drug Store...

100% correct . If you don't resist arrest, you don't end up dead. Nobody getting arrested thinks they did anything wrong. That doesn't mean you can just fight the cop off and go on your way.

An excuse for a bunch of bros to dress like Santa, get piss drunk, and if they're lucky, get a handjob in an ATM vestibule.

I think it is a chick as well.

You know this was the payoff of some kind of lost bet.

He probably was, which would be bullshit, as the guy asked for it.

Pop it!!! POP IT!!!

Yet they were totally cool with Texas A&M selling shirts with "FOOTBALL #2" on the back for the last few years.