LET ME SEE YOU DONKEY ROLL!!

No love for chicken nuggets warmed up and chopped? The breading adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the overall baked delight that is buffalo chicken dip.

I thought everyone was already using rotisserie chicken for it. It sure as hell beats the folks who go canned.

he does the “Sandler” without being as awful and shitty as Sandler.

His HBO Specials are masterpieces in my book. Tour De Pharmacy and 7 days in Hell are just hilarious.

Style Boyz 4 Life

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is hilarious. He’s so good at playing a complete idiot.

It is hard to imagine that this movie will be a huge breakout hit but it sounds fun. I’d like to see Samberg break out as a movie star, unless it threatens his Brooklyn Nine-Nine schedule.

Please don’t feel bad. Kushner is a shit golem who doesn’t deserve your decency.

I kind of hate myself right now. I try never to judge anyone on their looks, but I swear, Jared Kushner is a robot. The only thing on his face that moves is his mouth. His eyes blink, but it’s nearly perfect intervals of time, and too fast for me to keep up without getting a headache. (Yes I tried, and now that I’ve…

The greatest picture ever taken of me was taken at a Rainforest Cafe in Houston in 2010.

“I’m trying to learn how to talk here, Elephants. Pipe down.”

“ It’s a conversation-halting, baby-frightening display...”

If the Hanna-Barbera documentaries of yore have taught me anything, the elephants ARE the vacuums and it is, in fact, their living 

Can you believe the amount of cleaning and dusting you have to do to clean all the leaves, elephants, vines, and other assorted things glued/nailed/mounted to the walls/ceilings/floors?

It’s amazing how little has changed in the last 24 years.

This seems like a good time to remind everyone that Elizabeth Warren has an awesome Golden Retriever and actually knows how to interact with a good dog.

that’s better

Sorry, “properly-trained dog” should’ve been hyphenated.

oh fuck off with “properly trained dog” horseshit.