Plus it will be adorable. The cops will be all “we don’t have handcuffs small enough!”

It was all shot on a soundstage!

The National Park Service isn’t exactly the kind of organization to be in the pocket of Donald Trump. I suspect they just really, really think it’ll be a logistical nightmare because of how much work will have gone into making the inauguration run smoothly, then having to turn around and make sure everything is…

Perhaps, but a recent New Yorker article pointed out that Constitutional Law experts are divided on this issue:

He may have installed an awesome skate park inside St. Peter’s. He may walk around with a VR helmet on his head while wearing a futuristic jumpsuit. He may sometimes try to balance a big old priceless crucifix crafted by some long-dead artisan on top of a hover board so it can scoot down a hallway and spook some nuns.…

Yeah but since he’s such a fantastic businessman I hear Trump is considering him as an ambassador to Isreal.

I’m pretty sure Jesus founded one of the most successful pyramid schemes of all time. He doesn’t need our advice, he did it all for the glory of God.

I work in a law firm, and I shit you not I have suggested to the partners, multiple times, that we could make BANK if we started some sort of amateur/backyard wrestling ring and we sold tickets for people to watch two lawyers go at it

How dare you assume I have not suggested this in every board meeting?

small businesses around america say they need help to survive in an increasingly hostile business environment, but let me ask my small business owner friends this: why haven’t you injected your employees with steroids and forced them to battle each other on top of ladders while wearing thongs?

Supporting this growing realization is the fact that the CEO of the airline was arrested last night.

If history has taught us any lessons, one should be wariness of white men who are just a bit too keen to extrapolate on Nietzsche’s ideas.

When I do make my bed (And it’s rarely now), I feel like I am more productive. I start off my day accomplishing something. That and I work from home, so when I walk through the room it just looks nicer.

BTW, I stopped because my wife went on maternity leave and would still be in bed when I got up for work, so I just…

Usually takes me about six minutes to make my bed, but I have a custom king and a bunch of different layers of high thread count Egyptian sheets and all sorts of blankets and throws and that’s all before the ridiculous amount of pillows. I’m also really particular about how I set my bed up. Everything has an exact…

Because we actually know for certain where Trump’s financial interests lie thanks to his voluminous and transparent financial disclosu - wait, what? Oh, we don’t? Oh.

No, she’s advocating the ban of burqas in a few situations that mostly involve interacting with the government or being ticketed for traffic violations.