A demon walks into a bar and orders a Dancing with the Devil.

It's a Wonder Bra.

One night, Caesar walked into a bar (I think it was the Hi-Ho Lounge), and said "Caesar is in a bar. Caesar wants an Absolut Cosmopolitan. Caesar secure enough to drink pink martini." The bartender, Barry, makes the drink, and, figuring a monkey won't know any better, charges Caesar $16.75 (USD) for it.

I have yet to see a piece of writing, political or non-political, that does not have a slant. All writing slants the way a writer leans, and no man is born perpendicular. - E.B. White (July 11, 1899 – October 1, 1985)

All men profess honesty as long as they can. To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is something worse. - John Quincy Adams (July 11, 1767 – February 23, 1848)

We once met some little boys who were excited that our dog was also named "Bara" (she's not, that's how they understood it) and their grandma explained that they had a dog named "Barataria", whom the little guys called Bara.

Oh, I see.

As stated elsewhere, my other dog is Jackson. In New Orleans, "Jackson Barracks" makes sense. "Barracks" also stands alone as a street name. Maybe the next dog will be "Rampart", also a street name.

It's a New Orleans thing: our old dog is named Jackson, so we'd decided the next one would be Barracks, years before we actually had the next one. Locally, if someone's not understanding, I just say "Like the street" or point out that the old guy is Jackson, and then they say "Oh, Jackson Barracks."

My dog Barracks, who is female, chases squirrels. She could be Squirrel Girl's dog.

The typo will likely be fixed soon, but it's almost 40 years ago, not 30. But, hey, are you ready for the summer?

My stepmother died in September 2008. My Pop moved to Florida to live with his Lovely Companion in June 2009 - he and LC had dated as teenagers, she was also widowed. No one was mad that he'd moved on quickly. Hell, my stepmother's daughter was a realtor, and helped Pop sell the house in Opelousas before he moved. …

Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more. - Nikola Tesla (10 July 1856 – 7 January 1943)

We are regulars at Theo's, so they know I am not a kid, but it seems they are under some scrutiny, and prefer to be safe. It was a good story to tell, though.

An elderly couple in front of us gave a thumbs-down to those images, but then started grooving to "Money" (which was also accompanied by a few Trump images).

My high school classmates Ellen Scott and Huey Fitch were in my American History class (1979 - 1980 school year). He'd always call her "Ellen SNOT," so she'd call him "Huey BITCH". I was a rather straight-laced teenager, so their conversations were shocking to me:

Poverty cannot deprive us of many consolations. It cannot rob us of the affection we have for each other, or degrade us in our own opinion, of in that of any person, whose opinion we ought to value. – Ann Radcliffe (9 July 1764 – 7 February 1823)

Puzzlemaster Will Shortz did not call me! The answer to his little puzzle is WANDA and MAZDA.
http://www.npr.org/2017/07/…

The ghost, played by Casey Affleck in a sheet, from A Ghost Story floated into the bar. He'd crossed the road to get to THE OTHER SIDE, and said "I'll have a Dark 'n' Stormy."

The ghost, played by Casey Affleck in a sheet, crossed the vast, verdant field to get to THE OTHER SIDE.