Never thought Mariah Carey would look like Aubrey Plaza.

It reminds me of those radicals in Flint, and their bizarre and selfish demand for drinking water they could drink.

The White House’s directive today to the Corps for further delay is just the latest in a series of overt and transparent political actions by an administration which has abandoned the rule of law in favor of currying favor with a narrow and extreme political constituency.

I think I got shaded this week. Met up with a very old friend, someone I have not seen for a very long time(although we are in touch via social media).

a moody singing man who does a rather impressive Michael Jackson impression.

A few years ago, maybe 2013 or 14, Secretary Hillary Clinton came to my work (not Wall Street, tech company) for a fireside chat and to promote her book. She talked at length about her experience as SOS, and one thing she discussed was how much “small offenses” matter to so many leaders and countries around the world,…

Maybe you could offer courses from “Shade University” to folks. At least they would have some real world value.

I love how on Leah Remini’s new A&E show (and book and interviews, etc.) she keeps burning Tom Cruise. Do not fuck with Leah.

OMG TN’s face when she was like, “I’m a millenial, I hate labels”.

That....was not as terrible as I feared when I saw this on my DirecTV recordings a little while ago. He actually tried to pin her down, but she just kept spitting out her talking points.

Wow. I went from “who’s that?” to “holy shit I hope she dies in a fire” in record time.

Ridiculous! If you want something crass, I can hook you up. We made one for my friend, B, who got married to a great dude, J. We blessed them with #WeddingBJ

For my wedding in May, I’m going with #NowICanHaveSexWithoutShameHahaThanksForTheComplexMomAndDad

I really don’t think I can be mad at her like. If fools are willing to pay you $40+ to think of a fucking witty hashtag, let ‘em. That’s money for what she’s probably narrowed down to half an hour or less of time spent total, from first interaction with the customer to end. While she’s doing something else, to be…

#Rentatag

Yes! Tom Haverford would have the BEST wedding hashtags.

Hold my beer — I’m going to try my hand at this.

I’ve been in charge of creating many hashtags for friend’s wedding because I’m “funny and clever.” But I’m not, I’m just a snarky jerk. It is a little stressful, I mean, for the ten minutes I spend thinking about it. Anyway my point is, I’ll create your hashtag if you pay me in wine. I’m more “creative” when sauced.

What’s weird about it is that they can’t tell him that it’s right there. It’s not about the cookies.

The cookie story is the polar opposite of a juicy gossip story. Like, you couldn’t find a more lame-ass story about a celebrity if you tried.