prediction: he will go on a record-low number of international trips, instead inviting foreign dignitaries to do state visits here (and stay at his hotel).

Bella is that girl you knew in your freshman dorm who smoked Gauloises, still took ballet lessons, and had a boyfriend in Porto.

Reminder of context: Donald Glover was raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses. (I was as well.) Not only is magic in its most literal sense banned, you’re not really allowed to dream big or have fantasies about your future. There’s no wonderment. There’s no delight. Becoming a performer, artist, athlete, or anything else…

He literally said her father wasn’t a war hero because he was captured.

My Bar Mitzvah present (one of them) was the Tiffany Treble Clef pen. It’s not a Bar/Bat Mitzvah without a robin’s egg blue box.

“joining the journalists”

Not looking good for this girl. Cop has a super defense strategy.

man it is stupid how nice that Kardashian/West family montage is. I cried.

She’d make millions if she started selling The Bible: As Annotated by Reagan.

People are way too fucking involved in other people’s lives. Also, if Jesus is real, I doubt he’d care if a child decorated a bible. In fact, coloring bible versus is like the first 8 years of going to church and you’re sent to the basement to be entertained while real church is happening upstairs.

This is what bibles looked like in the Middle Ages when they were still being hand-copied by monk scribes. All decorated with pictures and shit. Stick that in your pipes and smoke it, haters.

I mean, I feel bad for her, because this bible had blank spots in it for notes, so why is it bad that she highlighted things. This reminds me of the most confusing aspect of my recent Byzantine history class, which was all the heresies. I’m a Jew. Jews generally don’t kick other Jews out of the faith unless you REALLY…

Honestly, it sounds like it’s whimpering “Help me” and begging for the sweet release of death.

That settles it then.

J.Lo is that friend who, after a break-up, says “I need to stop being a serial monogamist and date ME for a change!” and then moves in with a new guy a month later.

I have never liked her either. Long before Brad Pitt I couldn’t stand her. She seems like a “blow up the bridge” type of person. Once she’s done with you she will do whatever it takes to make you look like the bad person. And the fact she is notorious for going after married/engaged men makes her look like a predator.

This sounds like chore prostitution.

God I love Dana.

Dorit is a one season cast member at best. Bring back the $25,000 sunglasses and the haughty British witch. Much more inneresting.