That Dragnet movie with Hanks and Aykroyd is bland as hell, but the bit where Aykroyd stops finally referring to Connie Swail as “The Virgin Connie Swail” is fucking great.

“Oh, wait, I figured it out. It’s just a list of three unrelated words.”

“What? ‘What’ ain’t no language universal translator can process!”

“Listen, kid, me not gonna bullshit you, all right. Me not give good fuck whether you think there are four lights or five lights, but me going to torture you anyway, regardless.”

“Me not tip because we live in society that has progressed beyond scarcity and no longer prioritize material wealth. All right, if someone really deserves tip, if they really put forth effort, me will give them little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it for tribbles. As far as me concerned, they just…

Tarantino quote plus Star Trek reference gimme stars

“Klingon, motherfucker, do you speak it??”

“Do you know what they call a quarter-pounder with cheese on Vulcan?”

Did Star Trek go wrong somewhere, or am I just old?

I will do shit for money. But I’m not gonna do shit for no money. I’ll do quality for no money.

I agree with this list, except I’d scratch Seth MacFarlane and insert Maurice LeMarche.

People who say that kind of shit are the same people who insist you can’t be a Dylan fan until you’ve bought the bootleg session containing the 24th outtake of “Absolutely Sweet Marie” where Bob farts into the mic.

Agreed!!!! I was at a beer fest and I said I want to go try X beer and my friend was like “of course you do, it’s a wheat beer”. I was like bug off!! Also, I’ll present you with my favorite beer. If you’re in TX you’ve probably had it...

^ Amen to all of this. Beer is for enjoying, and whether you like a 100+ IBU IPA or a raspberry blonde ale, it’s all good by me. Anyone who says different is trying too hard to prove themselves.

My hatred of IPAs is less about the beer itself (I agree with the article, Breckinridge Brewery’s Mango Mosaic IPA is pretty good). It’s more the types of people who like IPAs and turn it into a challenge - sort of like with hot sauce - where it’s like “Oh you like IPAs? Have you tried Brewery X’s…

The best time to plant a tree is 30 years ago.

Seems like the obvious issue with ASSHOLE is that he likes being deceitful and manipulative. Just like in his letter he’s acting all contrite, but is really bragging. As Dan noted, it’s entirely possible to say no to an affair. It’s actually not that difficult. But you choose to go for it, because that’s what you like…

Excellent analysis.

Ketchup is not good on anything. Mayo has limited sandwich/salad applications.

Except none of those things are better for French fries than ketchup or mayo.