“The closeted perv has never come out as gay”

Because he very well may not be; being a child predator /= gay. Abusive sex is about power, not identity.

[Conger] “we just blew our savings on hookers and blow. This doesn’t !look good on us.”

“Was it hard to “do it”?” I whispered gently salivating into my children’s portioned French toast.

Oh, I got it now, thanks for the patience with the clarification. It’s just that the juxtaposition of him and Serena makes it funny!

I read “diet pills and coffee” and immediately thought, “mmm mmm good!”

Exactly. And, you know, I get “Hey, you know that thing that everyone else likes, I like it less” because that’s a pretty regular thing to say and, like you said, not everyone should like the same stuff.

Can someone write an academic paper on this? I want to know why we’re all weirdly in love with him.

So...I saw “tears part Chris Hemsworth” & “fanfic” and I think this might be the only fanfic I need in my life. Do not be selfish with the goods. Let me read it and I'll tell you whether or not you should publish it. (Answer: yes.)

The thing that drives me batshit crazy about this whole thing is that Apostolic Christians don’t believe that Catholics are real Christians! Why is she so excited to meet the head of the Catholic Church if she believes Catholics are going to hell?! (Answer: Because she’s an attention whore.)

I’m pretty upset with how Jezebel readers are being so incredibly dismissive and actually shitty about this.
Nursing is a predominantly female occupation and as such has routinely been dismissed as a less than vocation for exactly that reason. We have to fight to be taken seriously ALL the time. I get shitty comments…

I AM CRYING MARK OMG OKAY BRB LEMME FINISH

This. But we all know who wins the Facebook martyr-off: stay at home moms.