So what you're saying is that you have no idea who I am? I'm VERY IMPORTANT, you see. Assassins often target those of us deemed worthy of selling monogrammed thermoses.

I wholeheartedly endorse this. Not since the Bread was Save has there been such a hero as you.

just gonna leave this here:

There will never be a coffee thermos with your monogram on it, primarily because there won't be enough room to write "self-aggrandizing infantile douchecanoe." Or, to put it in terms that you can understand : "lol, loser"

Let's be big for a change! (We are soulmates, you and I.)

Mr. Coffee and I did this on Saturday night after reading the article! It was actually really lovely and affirming, and I did learn a few things about him that hadn't come up in the last 13 years, and we came away feeling pretty good overall about the state of our relationship.

I'm so upset you got here before I did. I was going to tell you all about my ancestor.

Also maybe aestheticians. Once I was getting my eyebrows waxed by the New Girl at the salon, and I heard her go "uh-oh" very softly. Then she spent a lot of time trying to sell me an eyebrow pencil. I got to my car, looked in the mirror, reached up, and rubbed off the drawn-out half of what used to be my right…

Dont'cha get me wrong...

I was also just thinking about the unpleasant irony inherent in using the word "spaz" in a discussion with special needs at its root.

Hey now, no need to go after the personalized thermos demographic here. I own three happy, claw-filled cats.

This. I was idly channel surfing around Thanksgiving when I came across the movie and ended up watching, remembering how my mother idolized Scarlett for her tough no-nonsense attitude, and how much 12-year-old me liked the film, but today-me found it unwatchable. Everything made me cringe at best and furious at…

Middle school orchestras can be hell, unless they have a good teacher. And I am a pretty good teacher :)

I see your "one child practicing trumpet" and I will raise you "I've taught beginning string players for nineteen years."

Oh man. I've never save any bread.

I do understand that, and that's my fault for being unclear/misleading. I had no intent to obfuscate per se. It's also fair to say that I may very well be unaware of all the circumstances.

You're exactly right : she's deeply intimidated by his legal expertise as well as by his explosive anger. They both adore that little girl, and my sister's take is that she only wants what's best for her. I'll just have to keep telling her that I know she thinks being agreeable and nice will convince him to "go easy…

Of course, the first thing I told her was that we need to get an attorney, but she's resisting that option for now. I'm hoping it's the initial shock and upset that's keeping her from seeing the bigger picture.

I'm trying to present as neutrally as possible, and I did withhold some key details in case of accidental doxing. I do know approximately what she did as well as the history of the relationship. Team Nobody isn't a wholly inaccurate view if I'm being neutral, and as an educator, I believe that both of them are…

OK, Jezzies, I could use some advice on how to best help my sister through a tough time (sorry, this one is a long one). Yesterday (on her birthday, mind you), my brother-in-law told my sister that he was leaving her and taking their 4-year-old daughter. Their relationship (I think they've been together 11 years,…