"crack the egg on the plate—yolk up"

PLEASE LET ONE OF THE MEN BE JESSE WILLIAMS

I can name three members of One Direction: Niall Horan, Zayne — the one with the great eyebrows — and Harry... Styles... I think is his last name? (I dunno, the guy who dated Taylor Swift, another musician I don't follow but am fully aware exists.) And I have no idea why. I mean, yes, Dirt Bag and E! Online but…

are you for real? not caring is completely understandable. having gone through life literally not knowing there was more than one way to cook an egg is BAFFLING. the thing that is baffling is HE DIDN'T KNOW OTHER WAYS EXISTED, not that he didn't know how to do it himself.

After a few minutes, I returned to the table. The man ordered a hamburger.

Damn, is it that bad not eating meat, that vegans have to lie to themselves to eat their awful food? If all you serve is soy, just fucking serve soy! Stop trying to pretty it up with fancy shapes and names of foods you're too good to eat!

I explained to him that filet mignon is a steak, a very nice cut of beef. This guy actually argued with me, causing a big scene.

Guys, I've been watching Gilmore girls again on netflix and it is like catching up with old friends. I'm still in the first season but I cry constantly and every time luke and lorelai make eyes at each other I just wanna be like COME ON GUYS, GET IT TOGETHER.

Seriously. The problem is that we're keeping men from carrying bags not that women are carrying bags. Purses are the best.

I love my purses. How am I supposed to carry a wallet, keys (which include lab keys, car keys, home keys, a building key card, and a school ID), Chapstick, emergency maxi pads, iPhone, charger, headphones, two pens, Kleenex, and extra cloth bags for shopping in pockets or whatever mysterious waist item is suggested in…

not gonna lie, I love that fanny packs are back in style. They still look horrible on me, especially since all the sparkly ones are meant for someone 10 years younger, but it doesn't stop me bc i love the convenience. I used to be a cross body bag devotee but it's annoying with boobs and I've had more than one…

YES! For years I've been complaining about phones and the inadequate size of a typical "ladies pants pocket" (don't know why, but that's the term I always use).

Remember back in the glory days of the 1990s when men and women alike wore huge cargo pants with pockets all over the fucking place? Pockets on the arse, on the hips, on the knees. You didn't need a carry-on when flying because you had fucking pockets everywhere.

99.99% sure the Lindsay Lohan tweet is a Mean Girls reference. Which is amazing.

My take away from this post is that Tom was in Nashville, where I live, and I fucking missed it.

Hello. I am an English person and due to my cultural tendency to be somewhat reserved, I have never commented before. I tend to lurk... but I want to share the comment that accompanied my facebook post about this show the other day, because it was the first bit of telly since Breaking Bad that gave me shivers of…

When he demanded she read over his speech on the basis that she "owes" him, I wanted to knock his teeth in. No, she does not, you ABUSIVE DICKHEAD.

Can you fit this entire thread in that room?

All I can think about when I see it.

I've been torn apart for this on Jez before, but I'm a Prince Harry truther. I don't think he's Prince Charles' son.