This commercial made me laugh really hard.

One night, a couple of months ago, I stayed up till 5 in the morning to watch spelling bee videos on youtube. I'm trying super hard not to get sucked in again.

When I was a child we took our little dog to the zoo, once. When we came close to smelling distance of the tiger enclosure, the dog freaked out. And I mean absolutely freaked: trying to run away, crying, fearing for his life.

I love Paris! My advise is to stop at a small restaurant for red wine and cheese every afternoon!

If he was a month away from his 16th birthday, he would have been 16 years and 8 month when the baby was born.

FINGERPRINTS and SCRATCHES! It will look like shit in no time.

Does it have sugar in it? If not, your teeth are safe.

I'm sorry, but I think you are a monstrously bad mother. How can a pack of wolves bring out your childs creative spirit? Every child has a creative sensitivity and wolves are really not good at fostering it.

I understand. My birth is going to be drug-free, all natural and in the presence of a pack of wolves, to ensure that my child has an intimate knowledge of nature from the very beginning. Only in nature we can experience a connection that unites all life.

Vinegar rinses really helped me.

One of my first memories is the birth of my little brother. I was exactly 2.5 years old.

OMG! What is that? I need to watch that stat!

Me too. It looks very flattering. Same for the flowery bottoms.

They look fake to me. If someone wore that, I'd just assume it was fake.

If it's sewn to the dress, it's probably sewn to the front of the dress. This way there is no actual weight on the neck and the necklace can stay draped like that.

I think the problem was that Biebs never handed in all the immunization papers after abandoning the monkey, thus forcing the monkey to stay in quarantine until now. This is considered especially tragic, as the monkey is still a baby and desperately needs socialization.

My parents came to my my first day of school and to my graduation. Once a year one of them went to a parent teacher conference. They had to work and I never expected them to attend any other event. I turned out fine and I don't really see the big deal.

If possible, take your new responsibilities elsewhere.

It's true. I read it somewhere this morning. Frankly, I have no fucking idea what possessed him to take that monkey with him.

Quick, tell him that the German authorities will not publish which zoo the monkey is going to live in in order to protect it from paparazzis.