Long ago, I was friends with a Nice Guy^TM. I got sick of it, called him out and ended the friendship. Five years later, he contacted me out of the blue to apologise for being whiny, selfish and a bad friend.

I'd like you a lot better if you just gave me the $5k.

Nothing makes me want to friendzone a guy more than a guy complaining about being friendzoned. Also, it's too bad a fedora isn't included in that list of things to buy

I'm Indian - of the same cultural and religious group that Jess and her family is in the movie - and I have to say, that movie was a game changer. It was funny and a bit satirical but also brutally realistic, especially the depiction of Jess' relationship with her father. It was a perfect depiction of how family…

Yup. J.K. Rowling managed to find the one thing worse than the banality of evil. Umbridge is the kitten kitsch of evil.

wow nailed it you look just like a not asshole

Yeah, they aren't bad for an old Russian dude.

omg that is extremely terrible of me, taking it out right meow

Taylor Swift's friends used to ask her: "ARE YOU AN ELF?" This is purportedly because she grew up on that dang Christmas tree farm but it is also because of my 9000-word essay linking Elfness to Whiteness all the way from its medieval Germanic etymology (albh for white, alpt for swan, elbe for girl who's never…

I was so disappointed when I found out that Eddie Redmayne is a fake ginger. I mean his name is REDMAYNE!

so many uptight white nerds are gunna lose their fucking shit.

My uncle's second wife fucked the one armed drummer from Def Leppard sometime post car crash.

Let he who is without gasoline cast the first match!

He has an answer* for that, too, though:

There is nothing funny about Adam Levine; he is a serious man engaged in serious pursuits, like throwing seriously sexy Halloween parties.

every tay naysayer can suck ittttttttttttttt

Apparently- and I just learned this, the dog in the first season was not Isis, but rather Pharaoh, and they had to cast a female dog because the dog that actually lives at Highclere hates other male dogs. Still, even assuming that Isis was just barely full grown at the beginning of the second season, she's still old…

The Season 1 dog was named Pharaoh!

Poor Edith just can't get a break.

"All going according to plan.... "