It’s like if cocaine became sentient and learned how to use social media.

Hey, hey, there were very fine peoplekillers on both sides. /s

We’ve witnessed a Monstars talent-snatching.

There’s got to be a better way!

In the NBA GOAT debate, people never ask the most important question: which is better, this or Crying Jordan?

You’re making those names up.

Congratulations to these three players, who can now join Joel Embiid and Lance Stephenson as the newest members of Russell Westbrook’s long and constantly growing list of enemies.

You’re assuming they’re competent at both murder and cannibalism.

“Take us with you.”

A rage-quitting gamer unaware of toxic masculinity?

The Round Mound of (creating) Rebound(s) (due to very poor shot-selection and an unwillingness to pass)

+1 bowling ball of butcher knives

A lot of people like to wax nostalgic about the Attitude Era. Yes, “edgy” violence and sex were a big part of it (looking at you DX), but would anyone have given a shit without compelling wrestlers like Stone Cold, the Rock, Mick Foley, etc.?

I mean, by definition, a supernova is caused by a dying star...

“Hello, placeholder champion. Here’s a title to remind everyone that you’re just holding it until John Cena is champ again.”

You dressed up as Tommaso Ciampa for Halloween?

What about robot immigrants?

Is there a problem with Asuka being champ?