You’re describing the behavior of a serial killer.

Counterpoint: fuck Chris Cillizza.

You sure it’s not burnt toast?

I regret to inform you that isn’t a béarnaise sauce.

This is how you make friends:

We’re about to align brand synergies all night long.

It’s not manslaughter if you don’t see who you ran over.

But, no human brain could figure out math that complex. It just can’t be done.

Sam is also not allowed in after 5pm due to being a giant baby.

Don’t they also make you sit with at least one empty seat between you and the person next to you?

Pfft, and she was complaining that she still can’t afford an apartment in D.C.

Directed by Coach Byron Scott?

Man, he’s really clinging to that security blanketwall.

She became suspicious when she told him “Сайн уу”, only to have him respond, “¿Qué?”.

This type of arrest needs an official name. I would suggest calling it a “Carolyn Bryant Charge”.