Meet me by the bike racks after school.

Pretty much. He could appeal on that basis alone.

Right. I wouldn’t piss on Cosby if he were on fire, but it’s far from “slimy” for his attorneys to file this motion. In fact, not objecting to testimony about uncharged extraneous acts would probably be textbook ineffective assistance of counsel.

It’s important to note that literally any attorney would have made the same argument against this evidence. Are they right? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. He can burn.

John Engler absolutely destroyed Michigan’s education and mental health systems, fuck John Engler.

*pretend this is an email*

Why would he ever want to go to Minneapolis. He’s rich  

This picture looks like Incognito is forcing Sir Patrick Stewart to give him a blowjob.

LaVar Ball ‘mum’ on Lonzo-Tiffany marriage though calls Ball-Trump family merger a joining of Titans

“Hey assholes...thanks a lot!”

TLDR. Anyone have a condensed version, I only have 15 seconds to spare.

Since you are one of the Deadspin Idiots that taste-tested, then ranked, chain pizzas, which is it: the best (according, somehow, to your rankings) or trash? It can’t be both.

Cue the people who will be trying to make jokes about this awful topic...

That’s one Swaggy Pump

Every Met down in Playoffville liked Baseball a lot, but the Wilpon, who lived just north of Playoffville - did not. The Wilpon hated Baseball - the whole Baseball season. Now, please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or it could be that his head wasn’t…

“Okay, here’s my chance. Time to make this show happen.”

I know a lot of people like to talk shit about Mike and Mike and how it was basically just full of inane banter and milquetoast takes and corporate shilling, but it’s easy to lose sight of just how groundbreaking this show was considering it started 18 years ago. I mean, before this, nobody ever would have thought to…

Between this and Francesa, this has been a bad week for fans of Mikes who say stuff on the radio. On mics.

Let me tell you something. We are not winning against the bugs anymore. They are not sending their best, they are sending their asteroids. It’s time we build a space shield. A great, impenetrable, powerful, beautiful, Terran space shield. Believe me. Tremendous.

He was such a jerk, in fact, that he ended up spending hours playing baseball by himself in a strip mall parking lot.