Has there been a person as fucking thirsty as Rita Ora in the history of modern celebrity? I say no. Everything about her is try too hard. Stop trying to make yourself happen Rita. You’re never gonna happen.

I never realized it until recently my friends and I are pretty mean bishes- it’s fun!

2016 got a running start in 2015 with Scott Weiland and Lemmy Kilmister.

BWAWHAHAH- BEST COMMENT. I’m just gonna start saying shit like that all the time now. “You know, we are so much alike except you are kind and funny and I am mean and spiteful.”

Ryan, your life is just like that show except for the fact that it’s nothing like it at all.

FUCK WHO WILL BE SENATOR HYDRA NOW????

And Glenn Frey, Merle Haggard...(not my cuppa in music but they were icons nonetheless)

I didn’t even know about Alan Rickman.

You’re forgetting Doris Roberts :(

Maurice White, too... :’(

Fuck. I forgot about Alan Rickman. Grieving all over again.

I need a roll call of elder statesmen and stateswomen. Just for sanity sake. DOES ANYONE HAVE EYES ON SIR STEWART? WHO IS ON CHECKING TINA TURNER?

I just feel like I need to hover protectively around Loretta Lynn.

Sorry if this is graphic but they DO sell baby parts. And not just any baby parts.....

But these are free range artisanal fetal hearts.

Song titles (not real songs) made up by friends:

“You two-timed me one time too much”

“One stamp, too many bills, three jobs”

If ‘you’re the reason our kids are ugly’ doesn't get you in the mood then I don't know what will.

A lot of them are terrible, but the funny ones are really, really good.

I got this string of confusing messages yesterday “call me. i’m getting all these questions from start, and i dont know any of the answers” “can you call me? i still need you”. I’m like holy crap someone is interrogating my mom. I call her. She lost my STARZ log in and wanted to watch outlander.

Or just pair them with a Paula Deen shirt so you don’t even need to worry about your front privates!