yaaaaas I so coveted this phone. I had a non-Razr flip phone.

One of the benefits of the large multinational corporation I work for is the matching donations to qualified charities. Planned Parenthood is one of them. I just went to the donation website and tripled my bi-weekly paycheck deduction of $10 to $30 to my local PP. My company will match that 100%. So that's $120 a…

YES I totally did not realize till this article that was Idris Elba. No wonder that rent boy was so foine!

I SAID GODDAMN. She is just sexy as hell.

This, and your story about taking your cat on trips makes me ridiculously happy on this Friday. Bless you and your hilarious animals.

YES PLEASE I was cackling like a witch by the end of that segment. So. Good. The people screaming about getting a rotting pumpkin? SPOT. ON.

So all that history of Chinese immigrants building the transcontinental railroads were a myth, then, according to these whack jobs? And every major city in America having a Chinatown that has been there for at least 100 years? Fiction, apparently! /s

YES PLEASE MAKE THIS AND I WILL WATCH IT!

YAAAAS GIRL! LOVE LOVE LOVE KATYA. She was so funny.

CONGRATS YOU CRAZY KIDS!

That ain’t even the half of it. There is a Versailles, KY, named after the French Palace. How is it pronounced? It’s “Ver-Sales” not “Ver-sigh”. VER-SALES KENTUCKY YOU CANNOT MAKE IT UP.

This is most excellent, I shall deploy this immediately.

I have no idea who Allisia Cara is, but I should figure it out, because her cover of “Bad Blood” is boss, and her voice is awesome.

YISS thank you I just went down a BBC rabbit hole. How about Usher playing bass and singing “Pumped Up Kicks”? Damn!

YAAAAS! I started doing this at work when men would try to talk over me, I just. Kept. Talking. They learned really quick that they should not interrupt me.

All the stars in the sky to you.

If I just popped my incision site from laughing at that I’m sending you the bill, girl.

I am 100% team kindergarten you. That parasol is adorable, and that jerk deserved every whack. Amazing.

OMG I thought I had somehow permanently zoomed into th website accidentally with my trackpad and couldn’t figure out how to make it smaller.

Oh Mark, I just got out of the hospital and have 4 weeks of recovery ahead of me. That second paragraph just gave me so much life. You are doing the Lord’s work regarding penis jokes, my friend.