Seriously, it’s like Canada. A whole country north of Buffalo? Really?

*faints dead away*

My worst enemy, Thomas Kinkade, has thankfully been vanquished. Unfortunately, his paintings linger on and insult me by their very existence.

Rufus!

The sermons at Fuck Church are something else, let me tell you.

It’s depressing that I don’t even think to watch The Simpsons on a Sunday night anymore.  The best I can muster is hoping that I’ll catch a run of early episodes on an FXX block.

Sit on it.

Tons of new, potentially enjoyable music?

Just stay the hell away from The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Nickelodeon.

Somewhere on the space-time supersphere, this has already happened.

Jesus, the curling sequence is possibly my favorite bit of episodic television so far this year.

Not actual profanity but Spongebob muttering “Tartar sauce” as a swear never fails to make me chuckle.

For shit’s sake, I must have been drunk.

It does, unfortunately, there’s no late night food joint in my area that could supply either.

Ah crap I misheard that, didn’t I?

My favorite line reading of the episode was probably Shitstain’s spiel about experience and the attendant skill that comes with it. The way he spits out “bolognese” just slays me.

I think that’s safe to put out there.

Captain Martha and the Vandelas?

Captain Martha and the Vandelas?

Occam’s Razor and all that.