Spent the day at the pumpkin patch (bought twelve) and then went to get some more Halloween decorations and ffs both places I went already had Christmas stuff on sale. For the love of Satan, that is fucking unacceptable!

Hot take: none of these approach the awfulness of being asked why you “want this job” at a job interview. 

As someone who prefers quiet and worked as a server, I think it’s just that people feel obligated to make small talk in work situations. They want to be polite but also realize they have nothing meaningful to say so they resort to the easy joke. Instead of blaming extroverts, blame capitalism. 

Vaping is the new wearing a funny hat or carving stars into your sideburns. It’s ok if you do it, just don’t pretend like it’s a substitute for being an interesting person.

You’ve read this wrong.

I’m dying. Why did I read that. What the fuck is wrong with people? Why would you date/marry a man who cannot wipe his own ass? 

This is why I could never have been a journalist. The moment those words left her mouth I probably would have tried to beat her to death with my legal pad.

Do you have access to the halls of power? 

It’s almost like being a decent educator requires more than just being a recognizable handle on twitter.

FAAaaammmmlllyyyyyy vallllluuuuueeeuuusssssssssss

I just want to be Jacqueline when I grow up...which was more or less five years ago...but still. She’s amazing and I want to be there for young women in the same way. Be the mentor you wish you’d had. 

You don’t appreciate middle management and their “stick-to-it-iveness” until you’ve tried to start a union with two men who call each other “comrade” but won’t return an email.

Yes, because if she’d been armed and resisted she’d be dead instead of raped and everyone would be here saying she deserved her death because you must always listen to cops. 

Total borecore. 

But Plato said that would work!

Puts thumbs in suspenders: “What if Avil Lavigne crawled out of the TV at the end of The RING...” Winces as nipples get smacked by suspenders. 

Luke was actually quite granola in the first several seasons—mocking Lorelai’s eating, refusing to eat fries in favor of carrot sticks, only eating turkey burgers, and buying sushi magnets.

I’d pay extra to be the last person on the plane. 

Counterpoint: Men’s soccer needs less money. 

I call it “decency porn” and this type of programming is increasingly necessary for my survival.