Your new giant font sucks ass.

Hang a ‘2015 Brady Beats Goodell’ banner right next to the Super Bowl 49 banner.

And how many rings has it netted ya? Man them stats sure were worth it eh?

JJ Watt is faker than Russell Wilson selling an RG3 slogan t-shirt

JJ Watt also might try to get psyched up for a game against the Patriots by having a sweet varsity letterman jacket made during game week and post a picture of it on twitter, then hard-assedly spit a hocker on the Patriots logo at midfield during pregame with cameras following him, and then lose 42-14, and then come…

Lots of sexts with Helen after she finished chaperoning the high school dance.

“Send J.J. back in time, I guarantee you he kills Hitler first. Not like that degenerate Brady who would probably sabotage Eli Manning’s Super Bowl footballs.”

College football needs to go away…

My 11 year old soul is wounded at the fact that you didn’t know Burt Reynolds played Bandit, Jackie Gleason was the Smokey (i.e cop) in question. And yes, I still know all the words to Eastbound and Down (and am still pissed they made a mediocre TV show with that title)

12 years longer than any Seahawk fan I’ve met.

Why Your Affair Sucks 2015

I’ll just be here waiting for the inevitable MindGate scandal.