Ballmer shouldn’t take it personally, Jeannie Buss evidently used to casually refer to Phil Jackson as “old man smell” and “that senior citizen I have sex with while thinking of Brad Pitt” 

Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

As a Spurs fan, I can empathize.

Meanwhile AM590 the Fan in Toronto, which STILL has a 30 minute segment on every show throughout the day about Leonard has yet to realise that NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT LEONARD ANYMORE, are all about how :( sad :( it was to see him so happy elsewhere and that :( no one wants to be in Toronto :(

Dear Penthouse,

“Space is hard.” — CMDR Bakamoichigei, professional imaginary spaceship pilot.

If your sport is fine with knocking someone out cold and then punching him twice in the head while he’s out, congratulations, your sport is garbage.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

I honestly don’t understand what happened to sportsmanship. You know, like, not being an asshole? It seems totally lost, and yeah, K seems to love promoting the lack of it.

Sometimes in life, when one door closes, a thousand other doors get slammed in your face.

At the very least give the infant a glove and a fighting chance 

You forgot the NBA champion Raptors.

I think its especially sad that Little Donnie is obviously trying so hard to impress Dada with all of his big man outdoorsman weight lifting beard growing crap when anyone who knows Trump knows that shit is the last thing in the world that he would ever give a fuck about.

From the fanciest black tie dinner party to the lowest gathering of hobos and drunks around a trash can fire, there is one thing that will alway remain true: people with guns ruin fucking everything.

‘You can’t even beat your man. Just shut up and watch me.’

I would just like to say that your attempt to compare a rich white fan/owner shoving a player, who had zero interaction with him or his family, because he felt entitled to do so, to a well known black GM being stopped by a cop, supposedly because his visible credentials weren’t visible enough, and then allegedly being…

Fuck it, man. Fuck it good.

Now we know what it takes for a black man not to get shot by a cop—19,000 witnesses.

I can understand packing a fleshlight to use discreetly on the road, but it takes a psychopathic level of commitment to one’s masturbation habits to travel with a lifesize replica of a headless, limbless woman to fuck right there in front of others.