Well to be fair, Cheryl Tiegs is sixty-eight now, a full 40 years older than the target of her preposterous sniping. I don’t want to hate on her because she’s no longer young and lush and ... jesus christ look at Ashley Graham’s FACE. Sorry, got distracted. Anyway. I will, however, hate on her for being a…

I love you for this.

It’s also clever, and funny, and beautifully acted, and full of marvelously quotable lines. It’s got adventure, romance, fighting, virtue and evil, the best sidekicks and tertiary characters anyone ever thought up, a staggering cast, Rodents of Unusual Size, and...

I can let you in on the secret. He is not the real Cary Elwes. The real Elwes has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia.

That should be easy enough, just use it next time anyone brings up President Drumpf.

Considering Brooks’ last few films, the cast members who have passed away, and the fact Rick Moranis would be a no-show, I’m kind of glad we haven’t gotten a sequel, honestly.

He still acts, and he’s terrific. But you could easily see him in things and not recognize him. He looks like a totally different person now.

Ditto what everyone else has said but more recently in Psych as Pierre Despereaux.

He looks hotter in the before. What can I say? I like a sad, withered shell of a man with a 5 o’clock shadow and up all night eyes.

And Robin Hood

I knew who she was marrying and it still took me a second. That Bobby is a sly one.

THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS

You don’t know who Cary Elwes is?

WHAT?!

Wtf ever happened to Carey Elwes, you guys? I need a behind-the-scenes special.

women don’t poop, its not natural for us

Funny that white men can find some common ground with other white men who just happened to be attracted to white men, but women still aren’t people.

Anyone else find it unsettling that as we make great strides in LGBT issues, we are being jettisoned back to the dark ages when it comes to Women’s Reproductive Rights?

The best funding for an abortion free society would be great sex-ed and free birth control.

I wonder how quickly the tax on menstruation products would disappear if women stopped using tampons and pads and just free-bled everywhere?