Maybe he can pull a Tyler Perry and play all the Kardashians? I would watch the shit out of that movie!

I prefer him as a painter of kittens than as of the leader of the free world, that is for sure.

This image from Us Weekly makes it look like David Schwimmer is playing Kris. Can we start a petition to make this happen?

Never would have pegged Bey as a Game of Thrones type.

I have never read Franzen and am proud to keep that record unblemished.

*shudder* The dreaded poke through. My finger poked through the other day after a pee (thank god) and went straight up my vag. It was not pleasant.

But without the Charmin bears, we would never get to see this Twitter exchange.

Need a tissue?

“Is your asshole clean enough to walk around without panties?” I mean, FFS.

cannot resist

Castle finale is important business. Own it.

I don’t understand this hair style.

Meanwhile in Calabasas, Satan laughs.

Reminder that the Kardashians are the fucking worst:

LOL FATTIES AMIRITE

I wish you could have been there to yell “fuck this cake!”

Is that a picture of the cake? Where are the parts that I eat? I’m supposed to be satisfied by a tiny golden sliver? Fuck this cake.

I can use it on my legs, but it dries my face out while simultaneously causing a full face breakout. Use caution!

I could probably submit one of these about myself. Many years ago when Subway sandwich shops were rocketing to the top of the national consciousness with the “Subway diet” I stopped in one day to eat with my family. I was a teenager and was waiting behind my family not really paying attention until I got up to the…