Cayman my ass.

“getting the best bang for your buck”

At Motel 6...we’ll leave the red light on for you.

People who stand up to wipe are like grown men who pull their pants and underwear down around their ankles to piss at a urinal. Both types should be locked up with the criminally insane.

Whenever I start feeling like I’m a little too cultured and high-brow, all I have to do is read a round-up like this. The fact that a 37 year old woman would be crying with laughter over poop stories proves that I will never really grow up.

I my illogical defense my morning meal is a kale smoothie so at any given time I don’t know what color power ranger is going to show up in the bowl. Hence my other comment about surveying the damage. But you are right. If you think you are shitting blood, call the Dr. Good to know you care yipes #Followed!

They do, and don’t sleep on their cream soda

This garbage is an affront to actual good root beer everywhere. Do you enjoy diabetes or just really bad hangovers? Also it tastes like shit.

I can barely drink one of those before the sweetness becomes overpowering. It’s so great at first, but quickly gets old.

Two Corinthians One Trump is the next viral video.

One of my favorite reasons for doing this is the ability to better control money earmarked for a certain payment date. For example, my student loan payment is due on the 26th of the month each month. I asked and they are not able (or willing) to change the due date. I hate having a large expense due at the very end of…

Kasich: “Yeah, I am not familiar with it. OK. I’ve got to get out of here.”

We should be thankful the clown car will be emptying.

Meh. I’m fine either way.

Comparing it to a acting role is ridiculous. You wouldn’t cast a blonde haired, blue eyed white woman as a half Hawaiian/part Japanese woman, would you?

Maybe she backed something else up 😮

My uncle, his son, was able to do even more ridiculous lies. Among his greatest hits: the neverending can of powdered chocolate (he’d get up in the middle of the night to refill it before we could see it and then tell us it was magical and neverending); the dragon eggs (at his father-in-law’s small farm, he’d also in…

I think I’ll be that way if/when I have kids. When I spend time around my friends’ and family members’ kids I can totally rapid fire Q&A with them. It’s so much easier to make shit up than to say “I don’t know.”