Worst of all? This was the text:

The hair and the makeup - Delta Burke, Designing Women

I hope they only assigned POC and non-christians to do that job. Purely so he has to constantly be aware his life is in the hands of people he is claiming to hate.

YES! So what, Ina’s rich. She’s a good cook and a good TV personality. And she owns it. Unlike Pioneer Woman and her fake homespun persona/story.

I will kill myself by eating too much “red” and “crispy” and going into anaphylactic shock.

If they take away my Monday morning BCO, I will beat someone with my monogrammed thermos.

White guy reporting in. Cam Newton is great. I love to see someone having fun.

Thank you for sharing the video of his TD celebration. I had to miss the game yesterday and didn’t watch highlights last night since ESPN is just a running ad for whatever daily fantasy company is paying them anymore.

That made me laugh like a child with glee. Dancing when someone is trying to fight you is just all…

I’m going with the finger pointer Chipotle asshole. Bonus points if the answer is also racist.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...”

That said, she must give one hell of a blowjob.

I was hoping for a substantial, thoughtful analysis on these particular customers, but I’m afraid of deep things.

My three most memorable are from my first year, before I became an inured and jaded New Yorker.

You forgot someone jacking off. Semen wants in on this party.

I moved to NYC in the winter of 2006, and started a new job in January 2007. On what I believe was my fourth day commuting from the L to the 4/5/6 to Grand Central, an express 4/5 pulled up to Union Square on a typically crowded morning rush hour. Every car was packed, yet the one that pulled up in front of me only…

City Hall station in Philly is the nastiest. It smells like death and is full of the worst behavior on the BSL. One day a lady got off carrying her bag on the way home from work with a cell phone to her ear. I guess she couldn’t make it to wherever she was going or she just wanted to treat us to a show. She leaned…

This is so easy. I saw this on Amtrak