“Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?”

x2. I went to a college on the other side of the state, and didn’t hear from my mom once until I called her to let her know I was dropping out because the west side of Michigan is AWFUL (4 months of endless snow, ice, and grey skies (also my first Thunder Snow) exacerbated my depression). Then I didn’t hear from her…

Surfs a flaming Suburban into a lake. Leaps from the blazing inferno... and holds his nose like a little girl before he hits the water.

Seriously! Wait until I tell my son that he could have skipped those 16-hour days in 125 degree heat and vicious sandstorms during his two tours in Iraq (even though he was lucky enough not to be on the front lines.) He could just have “felt” he was in the military without all that.

Draw me like one of your French girls.

Exactly. It’s grotesque hypocrisy. And I hate hypocrisy. It’s the refuge of moral cowards and cretins, and deserves only contempt.

she was sexting with family friend

Oooooooo. Needs a soft top, though. Just because.

you give them decaf for a week and then switch them back to full octane for a couple of days.

So basically...

The “drop ID in the mail” thing is technically true, in that the post office treats the ID as non-mail found in the mailbox and makes an effort to return it to the owner. At the library we regularly get packages of library books that someone dropped in a mailbox, and with only the library stamps as a guide, they’ll…

You know what got me in that story? The beige capri pants :/

I would do anything for meatloaf, but I won’t do that.

At one coffee shop I worked at, one of our regulars was a youngish, obnoxious lady who would order a caramel latte with five shots of espresso in the morning. One day, fed up with her attitude, my coworker on my sly made all her espresso shots decaf.

I thought the same thing! But I did find this.

All of these are great, but the guy driving off with his much-screamed-for pizza still on the roof of his car is my most favorite.

you & me both, Babe

Me too, but I think my wife would be really pissed.

Now that I’m in my 50s I’m making up for lost “naked” time. Twice her age, twice the nudity.

I’ll bet she went to Ireland and complained there were no picturesque slums like in that nice Frank McCort book, too.