You shut your whore mouth.

Crack pipe, or cracked block amirite?

I can almost smell burned clutch through my screen.

*sailboat that spends all its time at the dock* FTFY

You’re not the asshole. Sleep like a baby tonight.

If the very first scene, pre-opening credits, of Bad Boys 3 does not include an extended scene of Captain Howard losing his damn shit over that trip to Cuba, we will all have been failed. “Why am I getting a bill from the Coast Guard for a helicopter trip into the middle of the Gulf? Look, right there *points at paper…

Not even a solid torque wrench to maybe, maybe justify a large fraction of that cost.

Dude, if I had a grand burning a hole in my pocket for tools, I’d be flipping through a Snap-On catalogue.

Just once, I wish the news would find the “black friend” that racist ass white people claim to have, and interview him/her. “Hell no I don’t know that motherfucker. My cubicle was adjacent to his and he made stupid references to black stereotypes as if I thought they were funny. I don’t like him, nobody in the office…

We added a secret ingredient:

The intensity of the realness with which shit would get would be enough to turn coal into diamonds in about two weeks.

It should be automatic. All the passengers kind of look at each other and nod, and put the phones away. Guy sitting closest to the bus’ surveillance camera casually points it in another direction. Bus driver locks the doors, turns off the interior lights, and hits the “out of service” light on the bus exterior, and…

It’s always mental illness when it comes to Whites Behaving Badly(TM), whether it’s a racial diatribe directed at a bus driver, or a mass shooting. It’s never, you know, because they suck at life.

Hardest motherfuckers you can find, and mug hard on his ass. Not leaning in or nothing, just sittin’ there while their food get cold, and stare. Fat ass wouldn’t get past the first wing without asking for the check.

Think of all the saliva this man has unknowingly consumed.

Or it was flooded? I dunno.

Convince me there is even a smidgen of a chance this is NP. Anyone?

Tom was the one who solicited him for suggestions expecting something practical. “I need a recommendation for a simple car that goes from point-A to point-B without any serious issues. Who can I ask? The guy who spends exactly 97% of his time breathing either constantly repairing his fleet of rusted-out Jeeps or…

Agreed. Never underestimate the power of the idea of having a new car. Find any car dealer’s social media page with pics of customers getting into their brand new base-model economy car and they look like they won the fucking Powerball.

Is that a blep? or a mlem?