ipromisedmyselfnomoreburneraccountsyethereiam
ipromisedmyselfnomoreburneraccountsyethereIam
ipromisedmyselfnomoreburneraccountsyethereiam

Winner winner

Yes, tell me more.

She is, actually, a narcissist.

It’s like a canary nightmare. I bet that paint is original, too.

The House will impeach him, but unless he’s out in the Rose Garden having a drug-induced tantrum wearing nothing but shit-stained tighty-whities while throwing puppies and children into a wood chipper, the Senate ain’t convicting him.

The health plan’s deductibles are astronomical. HR can’t find any brokers who will underwrite a term life or disability policy. Management just sits there filming and taking notes while you’re slammed into a concrete wall at 70MPH. Pay sucks. Of course there’s a worker shortage in this industry.

A SmartCar would have shattered like a fucking egg in that contraption.

When I was watching that second video I was thinking to myself “yep, those airbags are gonna deploy” and wouldn’t you know they sure did.

A friend of mine in high school had one of these in orange. If you can do worse than that, you win.

Your game is strong.

I mean, if you want to get in a pissing match...

Real Housewives of SLC but only one husband, amirite? Because mormons? Hello?

I kinda did, because it seemed like a ploy to bring back tobacco.

He certainly could have picked a worse example. 

It was literally figurative. I get it.

Tipped off by a homeless guy in Detroit about a crooked Uber driver. Can’t say I’ve ever experienced that.

Wouldn’t he make more money if he, you know, picked up his ride?

Life’s essentials in one pic. I approve.

*GASP!* Heaven forfend!

Me, in that parking lot: