I don’t know if posting this take on Jalopnik dot com should be considered brave or asking for it, but best of luck to you. You’re gonna need it.

Da fuck is Google?

That truck is a serious money maker. Nice price all day long. 

That guy was such a toolbox. Just seeing this gif makes my eyes roll so hard I’m worried one will fall out.

I am Jack’s feigned surprise.

As someone who thinks the cops are douchy, out-of-control fuckwads most of the time... what the fuck is this bullshit article. She hit a cop car. She got a ticket. Seems pretty fucking straightforward to me. Don't wanna get a careless driving ticket? Don't run into someone else's car. And WTF is this "I don't think I…

Why would you NOT write a ticket in that situation? Running into the back of another car is the definition of careless driving. What if she had run over a worker at the car wash instead of just running into another car?

Florida. Come on, you know it is Florida.

The people who really need to hear this are the asshats literally pouring gas onto the ground because they would rather commit environmental crimes than risk having a drop of low-octane swill touch their FiNe LuXuRy AuToMoBiLe

It looks like a Civic Type R that was dragged through every aisle of an AutoZone.

He’s one stupid mother fucker.  

So if I am ever speeding in Irvine, the best way to lose the cops is to drive through a carwash?

“Are they giving us the finger because we’re cops or because we’re in a Cybertruck?”

So they paid 33k when a brand new off the lot model with better tech and a warranty is maybe 6k more? That site has to be money laundering or half of the bidders are in the early stages of dementia.

The latter scenario is far more interesting. 

We have concluded our investigation: This man is an idiot 

“Gold Star Auto in Toledo”

Here I am, looking at the auction, and thinking $20k isn’t so bad. It’s not far away, I have a garage.

What a world where a Porsche is the better off-roader than a Hummer.

It's fine. There's 3 cybertrucks coming to rescue it. No hang on, now there's 2. Wait, one.