I can share my kitten with you. We're moving tomorrow and he packed himself on the suitcase because he's cool and wanted to help.

You just have no. Idea. How much pressure these drivers are under. How they even manage to be pleasant is beyond me. Yes, I've had packages trashed (work-related stuff) and I've seen myself the mayhem inside the trucks. But my sympathy is with the drivers. We were headed to a late dinner tonight and they were…

Also included, my favorite sexy Christmas photo of all time.

I look forward to next year when she cancels Canceled Christmas because she realizes all the attention she brought on herself made her ego grow three sizes. There are millions of people who donate time and money to charity and instill gratitude and a lack of entitlement in their kids & then don't seek attention for…

T.I. is an anti-black misogynist. He threatens to push down Azealia Banks down the stairs after he's attacked by her via social media, but when a man is involved, he gives his two cents respectfully. *eye roll*

Seattle police made a big show last week of all the money spent on overtime for "crowd control" during recent protests, and the local Paper of Record made a double stink about how protesters were interrupting Christmas shoppers and downtown holiday events. Out local version of SantaCon (Santarchy) was on Saturday and…

A horde of fraternity and sorority people who never grew up after college, dressing up in Santa suits, getting blackout drunk, power-washing the streets in piss and vomit, and generally being a worse "annoyance" than any protester could even dream of being.

You are too kind. I don't think she looks like she votes at all.

Take a moment for the following thought experiment: thousands people of color descend on Manhattan dressed in costume with the express purpose of moving in large mobs and getting drunk. How would the event be reported in the press? Would more than 2 police show up on a given block to manage the raucous and disruptive…

On our way home from the march, my friend remarked: 'I didn't see one person from SantaCon who I would like to get to know, not even a little bit.'

Fuck those fucking santacon assholes. Seriously. EVERY YEAR they are the absolute worst. It's a stupid fucking tradition where drunk bro's + bro-esses make a fool of themselves, vomit on the streets and fuck up the MTA. GET OFF MY LAWN.

Do you know Juanita? Do a google image search for "Juanita Weasel." Minutes of fun are guaranteed.

GET READY TO CLAP, EVERYBODY!

Quadrangle. We forgot Tigerlilly. And the mermaids... o.k. this Peter Pan is actually a lesbian bildungsroman story about one young tomboy's realization that she doesn't just happen to be boyish and have a lot of guy friends because boys are easier to hang out with...

You had me at lesbian love triangle.

So the Lost Boys are just, like, gayer Newsies

An oddly relevant tweet from Josh Groban.

This is way better if I imagine Peter Pan is actually a woman (I'm calling her Patty), and there is a lesbian love triangle between Wendy and Tinkerbell. HAWT.

Me: "You know how you make fun of me singing in the shower?"
My girlfriend (shuddering a bit): "Umm...yeah."
Me: "Well guess what, I'm a better singer than Mariah Carey."
Her: "Fuck off."
Me: "Seriously. I'll prove it to you."
Her: (watches that clip)
...

I am waiting for all the menz that dash in for every one of this articles: But how else am I supposed to meet women? I'm just being nice, saying hi. Why do you women have to be such tight-ass bitches? Why didn't she just talk to him - then he wouldn't have attacked her! She should just have been nice!