Of course this begs the question, if Kia can't sell a $60,000 luxury car, how is Volkswagen going to sell a $70,000 one?

Let's just get this out of our systems now. Windows skipped Windows 9 completely for no apparent reason. Make your jokes. Everybody's doing it. Okay, now let's move on.

They're all parking tickets/street-sweeper tickets because they can't actually get the things to move anymore.

This'll work right up until the terrorists decide to use bomb-laden GT40s to spite us.

I'll beat you to the followup question and tell you which future car we're now least excited about:

The 276 HP Honda Civic Type R Will Be The Most Extreme Honda Ever Made

We know what you did last summer. ;)

Dodge- Grand Caravan Hellcat...make it happen.

It is in fact true. Either that or I can keep topping it off frequently (which I'll probably forget to do). Even better is that the vehicle in question is an '02 Ford Expedition.

Freedom's not free! (It's explosive)

...the hyper-modern F-22, marking its first-ever known use in combat.

Noted. Looks like I'll be doing an engine tear-down soon. Yay!

You'd think that, right? No smoke, either.

Here's my question:

You need one of these too!

The dog was the man's main witness in the trial.

A quick way to get tracked and caught?

Probably be exceptionally more difficult in a paddle-shift equipped Smart Fortwo that's for sure...

"What do you mean I don't need a 0-60 time under 4 seconds?! Haven't you seen what can happen in a flash flood?!"