Huge loss for Kotaku. You did awesome work here and I’ll miss your articles about D&D especially! Good luck!

Goodbye to a real one 

I don’t know what it says that among the first things our new private equity bosses did was dissolve the investigative unit I was a part of.

Massive loss for the site, but I wish you all the best where ever you arrive next. I’m sure to follow for the excellent writing. 

I was expecting a less classy Jersey Shore for lonely people, but I see now I set the bar entirely too high.

I’m going to tell myself “ok boomer” on this one. I’m 35 and this made me understand I’m already waaaay outside the loop.

I cannot imagine something I would less like to be involved with, consume, or even be aware of. Just reading this article made my day worse.

We don’t need DNA to prove that.

Did the DNA analysis confirm if he was a good boy?

My fave part is reassuring us that Geese aren't aggressive, and literally the next paragraph give hilarious detail of how and why they'd bully children.

They’re your country’s worst export since Nickelback.

I’m a Canadian. You STAY AWAY from the Geese. They’re horrible animals.

Yeah, that’s definitely a picture of a sunbathing asshole.

Florida Dog strikes again.

“He was a better driver than a lot of them I’ve seen.”

The five W’s of journalism.

Last time I bought a car, the dealer had that exact thing on the paperwork. Claimed it was $500 to sell the car to someone out of state. I lived in the state. Then they explained it was because the car had come from out of state. I pointed out the factory was in the state. Then the pointed out that my accent indicated…

Turns out Jesus was in the Book of Genesis.  Learn something new every day.

Su-su-son of God.