I have never had to shove a dude’s face between my legs, my dear. They thank me for the privilege, best believe.

This is the truest truth. I actually come easier and much harder from vaginal intercourse. But if a guy doesn’t attempt, without prompting, to mouth schuck my giggle oyster I'm pretty much done.

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date

Dudes, first time I tried a blowjob I messed up and got a wad right in my eye. It was bright red for two days. Guess what I did not give up on.

It’s kind of weird that Gawker Media is directing so much snark at this teenager who at least seems to have realized that the world she was caught up in was not healthy and wishes to convey that message to others.

I want to snark and make some silly comment about how I’m renouncing my internet presence for a more serious life of scholarly contemplation and that I’m actually a 75-year-old married housewife, etc...

Much respect!

Wait. Social Media isn’t real? Young lady, that baked chicken & rice dish I posted last night was real and it was goddamn delicious!

The point of this approach is to treat addiction as a public health issue and do what’s most efficient and best for society in light of the fact that yes, people will become addicted to addictive drugs in any society where they are available. They’re not making it more available or saying they’re good, just that jails…

They are not legalizing it, they are decriminalizing it. Which means addicts who are caught with it won’t fear jail time, which means that the focus can be more on health and rehab as opposed to imprisoning them.

I totally don’t get the whole ‘perfect, thick, green lawn thing”. I mean, yes, theoretically I know WHY it’s a thing and where it came from, but this isn’t post WWII suburbs anymore, knock it off people. My yard is very big, but pretty much the only green I have, and only during rainy season is weeds, because the rest…

Sooooo......a pair of underwear that is in close proximity to <that what shall not be named> remains forever unclean. Does this mean that the penises that presumably enter said taboo spot also remain forever unclean?

I was having a “discussion” with someone about sending astronauts to mars. He stated the first team should be all male, to prevent “space babies”.

That is what we need. 20 Internet research nuts and Maury Povich: “Our panel has fact checked your answer on trade deficits and has determined that that was a lie!”

This is a tricky one, though. While I do think they were mostly just creating fake outrage because they were asked tough questions, the CNBC moderators did ask a few questions that were just inappropriate in a debate. Trump is a buffoon, and the question about him being a comic book villain was funny, but it wasn’t…

I agree that it should definitely be the responsibility of a server making less than $3 per hour to ensure that two adults don’t do anything ridiculously stupid after drinking too much at a restaurant.

And she didn’t starve.

My husband would commiserate. I’m THE WORST!