This is probably naive, but I’m still amazed that they’re holding fast and tight to the three-day suspension. Even though they were proven every possible kind of wrong, and there’s no way to prove that he had intent to pose jack shit.

Translation: “We’re trying to do some damage control so we won’t get our butts sued off. But we’re still racist assholes, so we won’t apologize.”

A hand can pose a threat. You can make it into a fist and punch someone or keep it flat and slap someone. You know what you need to do to your students, MacArthur.

College girlfriend lost the keys to the locks and I was bound spread eagle on the bed for a few hours while we figured out how to uncuff my arms and legs. Not really painful but boy did my limbs fall asleep. She eventually took the bed apart so I could at least move. Keys were eventually found in the freezer where she…

A gentleman friend and I were “getting to know each other” in his bedroom at his frat house. I was finishing up on him with my mouth when I pulled back at the exact moment he came. Straight into my eye. I shrieked, and ran to the bathroom.

Can I just take a moment to say HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK to the lady who tried to steal a baby skull?

A Story of Few Words: A Sexy Haiku

TLDR

I asked for a $200 limit increase (tiny steps into adult is my plan) and their response “Congratulations! You’ve been approved for an $800 credit limit increase!” Nooooooooooo!!!!!

From what I understand when they develop the government budget everyone has to agree on it? Or something? SOMEONE PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG I’M JUST A BABY I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GOVERNMENT.

I’m making contributions in the names of the people I argued with over the videos and defunding.

Every time I get a notice from my credit card company telling me they’ve increased my limit, I want to send them back a letter saying “No, please don’t. Please.”

It’s gonna be the Oddly-rust-colored, nothing-gets-the-stains-out, can’t-wear-this-on-dates-anymore House after you’re through.

I love your gif but this is sort of how I’m feeling about the situation. Le sigh

DONATED AGAIN BECAUSE ACCESS TO AFFORDABLE LADY PARTS CARE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ALCOHOL I WILL BE DRINKING TONIGHT

This is such a fucking waste of time. It’s not going to pass the Senate and they know it. They’re just posturing for their fan base of rabid idiots.

I’m gonna come down there and rage-menstruate all over your goddamn White House.

These fuckers.