I’d like to add “you can sleep when you die” to that list. Because fuck off, sleep is amazing.

I’m not a regular blotter, but sometimes I get a piece that has literal puddles on it. Or when you hold up a piece and it’s steadily dripping. I can’t stomach that, so then I’ll blot.

You are overwhelmed with supportive messages, so I hope you still see mine.

Oh man, I stopped watching The Mindy Project when that happened, and also The New Girl. Both were gems before the main characters hooked up and entirely changed their personalities to fit within that new relationship-context.

I never needed to have an abortion (thanks PP!) so I don’t feel like I get to participate in this super cool hashtag. But one thing I’ve always been 100% sure of is that if I ever got pregnant, I’d get one straight away. Because I don’t ever, ever want to be a mother, and thanks to modern science, I don’t have to be.

Seriously...if you can’t do a story justice, then leave it for someone else who can. Out of respect or just general decency.

Lemme just say thank you for not using that “victorious” picture of her. Let’s stop using that picture at all because it gives her too much credit. Use the ugly, bland pictures to reflect the ugliness inside of her.

Is it common to not know when that’s about to happen? Like, it’s very clear to me. Everything feels different in the seconds before the splooge.

To insist people call you Mr./ Mrs-whatever feels like a way to knock people a peg lower than you so you garner the feeling of respect. And it’s meaningless. I can disrespect the shit out of someone and still call them Mr./Mrs. and then what? They get a pride-boost nevertheless?

Yes. It’s weird. I called my K-12 teachers Mr./ Mrs.-whatever (except for a cool few that let us call them by their first names). Other than that, I have never willingly addressed anyone as Mr./ Mrs.-whatever. Ever. Not even a boss. Totally weirds me out and makes me feel subservient. I fully believe that’s an…

My cat doesn’t pee all over the place. She’s actually a great cat.

There was some recent Jez article where commenters all shared their nostalgic little stories about pissing and puking on themselves and others before passing out drunk. So call me a prude, but that should be forever hidden in a shame closet, not celebrated as a “har har young me so funny.”

I mean...I usually dig Sundance fare so maybe I’m not the best person to ask. But it was an okay movie. Adam Scott was disgustingly unlikeable and somehow I still wanted to bang him, so...worth a view?

Oh man, I totally know how illogical it was. Trust me. I explained to him later what my stupid reaction was all about in an apology. But it was kind of a straw that broke the camel’s back thing. His brutal honesty is really exhausting and frequently insensitive to people’s (and my) wittle fefes. So I’m usually…

Clearly no one has seen him in The Vicious Kind.

My partner and I argued about honesty last night for the dumbest shit. I saw my favorite shirt shrunk a little in the dryer and it made me upset, so I held it up and asked him if he thought it shrunk too much. He was so blunt with his truth that he didn’t even take into account that perhaps I needed reassurance that…

Better late than never, but I just deleted my Yelp account. Now that nagging feeling of filth I had every time I posted a review will be forever gone!

So where did the hallucinogens come in again?

I was worried these dudes would be from Portland. Pleasantly surprised they aren’t.

I’ve been on the pill since I was 16. After about 7 years, I just stopped having periods, which was scary at first because I, of course, thought I was pregnant. My doctor tells me that can happen after years on the pill, and I’m loving it.