I live in Queens, and am myself from South America, but I still actually prefer real Mexican food to our shit.

Could you tell me where they're actually from, and not the imaginary Mexican city you made up?

a toddler size pile of squirming crickets

Question: Does getting constant free Burger King Whoppers make up for the fact that you've had two bypasses, and people around your town call you "Big Ol Brad" when you're not around?

Before. The yo-yo assembly was after the fake vomit factory visit.

Colombia.

Nah, it's ok.

This is probably the worst place to bring this up here, but your joke reminded me that most white people need to realize something:

What if I just use pogs?

If I remember correctly, this must have been the only important thing to happen in America in 2008.

Of course there is. I mean, wouldn't anything previously zapped with plutonium have some sort of imbued vitamins?

As an aside, I loved London, have been back there another time since, and I do agree your ales and dark beers are far superior.

I'll answer this question for a reason that you probably weren't expecting.

SAD, BUT HONEST, NOTE TO PAPERBAKWRITER:

Ignatiy and A.A. probably just printed out this comment, and hung it outside both of their office doors.

Jay from Redlettermedia had a great point in one of their videos (possibly from the review they did on the Dark Knight Rises, but I don't remember exactly) that I had been saying to people even years before seeing his point:

You're basically describing those "Everything Wrong With [insert movie name] in [insert arbitrary time frame] minutes or less" videos to a T.

He already tried that and it was working well. However, later on, those bastards at Fruit of the Loom™ sent him a cease and desist order which forced him to go back to the drawing board.

I have one to suggest:

I honestly don't think a lot of people hate watch this shit.