It’s more jokey than trollish, but I appreciate the Spacey.

The 100% face melting chemicals I presume.

Hedonism is one possible reaction (and one I indulge in) to existential dread but on the other hand, I highly doubt a double chin is the real impediment to achievement that has pestered these people. Obviously there are some people out there who really do achieve their dream with aesthetic surgery to touch up parts of…

It doesn’t have to be a moral authority if it lets me write between the lines.

No lie, I’m dismissive of people who are unhappy with their appearance and appearance alone but only really when there’s people selling shortcuts to a perceived “problem”. I really can’t relate to people who think “Oh, if only this part of me was different, I could have a better life”. But part of that is because I…

Soundcloud has only existed for me to download mixes from DJs I like.

I see where you’re going with this but I think the FDA should factor in “is this a legitimate ‘problem’ for humanity in America” before they approve stuff. Or they should hire me to add on qualifying statements to each approval: You don’t need this and if you think you do then seek out someone to validate your…

I can’t wait for someone to melt another person’s face off with this stuff

What does the FDA actually do any longer other than rubber stamp bad shit?

The enemy of the good is the perfect. The paternalistic perfect.

At the pearly gates, Rock will be there, judging you. Flirting and judging.

not enough o fat wink

Some of these people really missed out on an education.

You two love one another like Michigan loves Ohio, just make babies and get it over with already.

I do believe that’s a reservoir tip.

Just nuke Missouri, nobody will give a shit.

A dead Michigan one.

A dead Michigan one.

Movies are categorically dissimilar from all those other things in that they’re ephemeral minutes of entertainment that are their own end.

“Invented a hashtag”

Thank God!