Why is there always a little smiling face in the corner of the TV screen? Is that the narrator?

Did you go to Subway later to cheer yourself up?

He should have been a gentlemen and said: “Ok, man, any way you want it....”

Who says they never publish good news anymore?

Maybe I've been a social worker too long, but items 2 And 3 on your list seem like the most mundane-ass fauxhemian hipster douchebag horseshit that could ever be discussed at all.

It’s sad that parents don’t have more interesting things to talk about than mundane baby products. I wonder if parents from past centuries would find this just as bizarre as I do.

If you want to emphasize your class distinctions, there has to be a funnier way of doing it than by having a baby and spending a fortune on it.

We’ve lost true friendship and have been given something way crappier: the Facebook friend. Near-total strangers with whom we share every last little boring jot of minutiae the moment it happens.

Take the guns and the gas from the cops. Turn them out on foot with batons if necessary, but let them work in the community the way London bobbies used to, without firearms. Then they would have to start interacting with people face-to-face, and maybe, just maybe, they would start acting like human beings, not killing…

It is a stunning example of feminism devouring itself.

Honest question: have baby bumps always been tabloid fodder, or is it a post-2000 thing?

This news makes me so happy. Makes me feel like a kid again for some reason. If this news broke back in 1993, I'd have relished telling it to everyone at school who liked Nintendo.

He doesn't need a hammer. He has the Auryn.

How can this be as commonplace as they say, but it hasn't been objected to until now?!

Good to know. I guess we’ll look forward to it?

That “I have no mouth but I must scream” game looks kind of disturbing from the first few screens of it. Anyone ever played it?

Too many idiots would turn them into suicide missiles.