1. It causes cancer, which leads to

Express that to him! Be open and tell him that you are not ready for anything right now, but if he's still single, say, after Christmas, you would love to get dinner with him and/or have crazy sex. He may or may not be like "Awesome. It's a date." but being honest is the best policy, especially with relationships.

I re-watched Silence of the Lambs last night, but that isn't ghost/supernatural-ly at all. Not quite torture porn, but...

I was 15 and at the annual Big Band Dance at my school, where all the jazz bands come to raise money for the music program and everyone swing dances and stuff. Boy from my work came there trying to hook up with my friend, who also worked with us. He said something like, "I wonder who is a better kisser, you or ____"…

Just say you think you would be better off as friends or something dumb. Or that you're not ready for a relationship or something.

Oh my gosh, crushes suck SO MUCH. I had forgotten this until recently. Where you end up just banging your head on your pillow going, "WAS THAT FLIRTING BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T KNOWWWWWW!"

That is the opposite of being unreasonable. That is called making sense.

Yo, I haven't shaved anything in 2 months. So you're twice as good as me.

Zero percent chance that that is just being nice.

Anya from Project Runway seriously has so many pairs of AWESOME EARRINGS. Does anyone know where I could buy anything like ANY of her earrings? Because I love them all.

Are you friends with him/would you want to be? Because when you're not worried about fucking up a friendship, you should just GO FOR IT and invite him to dinner and tell him you like him. And if he doesn't like you back... well... nothing has changed except you can go find someone even sexier who does like you and…

How do you get in on this?! Trick-or-treating at the White House is my new life-goal!

My gut wants the relationship, hahaha.

You guys, I hate the fact that we can't teleport yet. After finally exiting a long-distance relationship, I have a new boy I really like. Too bad he's studying abroad in Japan and won't be back until January.

OH MY GOD. I am so jealous. I wish I could have been there!

Since I never got around to paper mâché-ing a Darth Vader helmet, I was trying to come up with half-assed costumes. Cute boy suggested that I be a time traveler from the 1990s and just be amazed at everything more recent than an arbitrary date.

The helps reaffirm the idea that my break-up was probably a positive step, even if it doesn't always feel like one.

Wait, do they want to have this for each value (like sugar gets 2 stars but fiber only gets one) or one rating for the whole thing? Because I don't think that the latter makes any sense whatsoever. The former is MAYBE fine as long as they don't exclude any information because they claim that it is explained via star.

Also: as ice cream sales increase, so does crime!