My complete apathy towards anything written in italics strikes again!

You, dear sir, are a complete ass. I would school you on your various asshole-y comments, but

I love me some Beyonce, but I am also pretty grateful that my mom didn't make sexy music videos while pregnant with me.

Is there a calendar?!

It's amazing how the music you listen to DRAMATICALLY affects your feeling towards an event.

Good to know they have already embraced my pun about their classlessness!

A whole new class of eateries: breastaurants.

This happened to my friend's boyfriend when they were having sex (in their bed).

"I absolutely do not rule out the possibility that African Americans are, on average, genetically predisposed to be less intelligent."

I am going as Darth Vader. So my expenses will be newspapers, flour and paint for my paper mâché helmet... maybe some tin foil... and hopefully everything else I either have or can borrow.

That is good advice, RuPaul. Yesterday, a boy told me he is never going to say anything nice to me again because I can't take the compliment without saying something sarcastic about it.

I think they are pretty cute. Then again, I am super self conscious about my feet.

Because you just CANNOT separate sex work from all the nasty issues that go with it. Legalized prostitution doesn't work for the same reason communism doesn't work: because people are scum.

Can all the ladies at this school print this article and hand it out so that no one will ever allow this man access to their "gaping holes"?

I love me some Jasper Fforde.

I've been doing my best to spread him to EVERYBODY.

Butter is kind of necessary for a lot of kitchens, though. Baking and the like.

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

I am crossing my fingers that my newly-ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with is not my Mr. Big because I would kind of like to get over him and go fall in love with someone else now.

That is a better argument for making it legal to be a prostitute and illegal to be a John, which is my personal stance on the issue.